


Lost and Found

by Shortandblonde



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Canon Continuation, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I'm not sorry, Lots of Angst, i dont know how to tag this, post-adwd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 21:53:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4936684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shortandblonde/pseuds/Shortandblonde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The four times he followed her, and the one time he didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> So, this fic has been through hell and back. I started it at some point a while ago, forgot about it, found it, edited it, forgot about it again, and well.. that process kept continuing. I finally made myself finish it, and honestly it had turned out a lot better than I ever expected it to. Thanks for reading.

     _Our last night is upon us._ Brienne no longer tried to stay upright in her saddle. She slumped foward and endured the fresh jolts of pain that every step brought her. _Just a bit longer._

     "We should stop for the night, Brienne." Jaime's voice resonated in the still air. "If we go much longer I fear I'll be tying you to your saddle."

    "No," she said quietly. "It's not far."

     "Thats what you said when you first came to me, stubborn wench." He rode up beside her, grabbing her shoulder to steady her. She hadn't even known she'd been falling. He looked at her with worried green eyes. "You can't keep going like this, Brienne."

     "I can try," she gave her horse a kick, grimacing as pain shot through her ribs. She heard Jaime do the same behind her. After that they hardly spoke, and she tried to ignore the concern that seeped into his voice. There should have been a bright, full moon above them, but the sky was dark and starless. Their slow progression had brought them to a small inn. "We stop here."

     "What is this?"

     "The Inn at the Crossroads." Brienne didn't say anymore. Instead she dismounted and began leading her horse towards the stable. She heard Jaime follow her.

     "Brienne."

    She kept walking.

\-------

     Jaime wasn't sure what plagued her nightmares, but what she said in her sleep gave him a clear idea. Sometimes she she woke crying out his name, her voice desperate and dry. Sometimes she plead for Catelyn's forgiveness, for Renly's understanding, for Jaime's help. She tossed and turned and sobbed into the sheets. All he could do was grasp her hand and offer her kind words, stare into her fever-bright eyes and tell her everything was okay.

     He didn't know how much longer they could go on like this. Every night was colder and longer, and each day he woke to realize that her fever had only gotten worse. It would have been a mercy to slit her throat, be done with it, but he couldn't do that. If anyone deserved a chance to live, no matter how slim, it was her. And so he did his best to keep her alive, worrying throughout the cold nights, left alone to his thoughts. He didn't need to wonder if had been right to forgive her- Brienne had betrayed him, true. She'd led him strait to his death, and at first he had been so fueled by anger that he didn't care if she or himself died or not. But then he'd caught a glimpse of her tears, he'd felt her back against his as they tried to fight their way out, heard her call out his name with desperation as she took a blow meant for him.

     And so he sat, holding her hand, rationing what little they had (It wasn't even food, anymore. They lived off bark and beetles.), and waited.

\-------

     It had taken all he could give, but Brienne was finally back on her feet. She stumbled, of course, but she remained as stubborn as ever. As soon as her fever was gone, she insisted that they continue her search for Sansa Stark. As she rode alongside him, Jaime wondered how he would ever be able to force his next words out of his mouth.

     "One more day, and I'll no longer be traveling with you."

     "What?" Brienne's head snapped towards him, blue eyes filled with confusion. "You're the one who thought to go to the Eeyrie." He turned away, watching the road ahead of them. _Such a long road, especially for one alone._

     "I have a duty to my king, Brienne. Or have you forgotten?" He turned back to her. "And if I'm with you, do you honestly think that Sansa Stark would give you her trust? I tried to kill her brother, Brienne." She shifted her gaze away from him, frowning.

     "Very well, Lannister," she looked up. "We might as well part now, if anywhere." She pulled on her horse's reins, and he did the same. "Where do you propose I go after I'm with Sansa? You told me that Tarth was taken, and rumor says that her bastard brother is dead. Where can she be safe?"

     "Maybe she's already safe, in the Vale. Go there and ensure she stays that way."

     "And if she's not?" She started climbing off her horse and leading it off the road.

     "Then protect her." Jaime hesitantly dismounted his horse and followed her. _Should we really part so soon?_

_\-------_

     Jaime Lannister sat in the corner of a crowded inn. It was called the Inn of the Kneeling Man, named for the last great King of the North who swore himself to the Iron Throne centuries ago. There had been another King since then, but he had died a little more than four years ago alongside his competitors. Three years later, the Targaryen girl took the throne, and he supposed it was about then that he abandoned his duties once and for all.

     He had traveled as hedge knight since then, walked the roads in quiet amusement when people claimed he bared a small resemblance to the Kingslayer. But no, he couldn't be. The Kingslayer was dead or gone. He was slaughtered by bandits, or was somewhere in Essos, or a black brother under an alias. People loved their rumors and stories, and he was content to let them have them.

     He was taken from his thoughts as someone took a seat across from him. "Do you mind? There's no more room in this bloody inn." She spoke sternly. If it weren't for her voice, he might of thought her a man.

     "No, take a seat. It's been a while since I've shared a drink with anyone." He watched as her focus went to his missing right hand. She swallowed and turned her gaze back to her ale. "Does my injury interest you? I got it from a group of bandits. Quite an interesting story, that one. It involves a prisoner, a bear, and a maiden not-so-fair." The woman shook her head and stood, avoiding his gaze.

     "I'm sorry, I need to go." She pushed her way out of the inn, and he followed. He spoke as he heard the door slam shut behind him.

     "Brienne."

     She stopped. She stared strait ahead, not daring to turn around and face him. "What happened to you, Kingslayer?" she asked quietly. "I tried to save Sansa and I failed. Tarth was gone, my father was gone, and I didn't know what to do," her voice rose in volume. "I tried to find you. I thought that maybe you'd help me. But you had disappeared, and I was lost and alone and foolish. There was no where I could go, no one I could turn to. I felt as if someone had played another cruel joke on me. I-" She paused as her voice cracked. "I don't know what happened after that. I started lying and stealing and murdering to survive. I hurt innocent people, Jaime. I left them battered and beat sometines dead so I could live." She choked out a sob, hunching over. "They said my father was dead. The Stark girls, you. Everything I'd ever known was gone." She turned to him, her once-bright blue eyes were cold and bitter and filled with tears. Jaime flinched.

     "Brienne, I-"

     "Don't say anything to me, Lannister. Don't say sorry. None of that was your fault." Jaime slowly stepped forward and placed his hand on her shoulder.

     "Brienne-"

     "No." She paused, stepping away. "Do you have a horse?"

     "It died a few days ago, why-"

     "Someone could have overheard us. It wouldn't do well for someone to know that you're the Kingslayer." She started walking towards the stables. "We can ride through the night."

     "Brienne-"

     "Take the one towards the back, it's been here for a while. I think the owner died." She paused to look at him. "Do it, Lannister." He hesitated, then did as she said. He wondered why he had ever thought it right to leave her.

\-------

     Jaime would have laughed, if wasn't painful to do so. It seemed he'd always had a reason to hate archers. Instead he took in a ragged breath, and stared up at the blue eyes he had fallen in love with. Had he ever actually told her? They'd shared many nights together, yes, but he didn't recall ever saying those words. Not to her. He wanted to, now. Desperately. He needed to. She deserved to hear them spoken to her with all the sincerety in the world.

     "Jaime, you need to stay awake. Focus on me." Her voice was shaking, as were her hands as she gripped the arrow buried in his chest. She took a deep breath and jerked it out. "Stay with me, Lannister. Please."

     He wished he had the energy to hold his eyes open, so he could stare into hers. Instead he learned into her warmth, desperately trying to speak.

     "Jaime? Don't speak. Just- just look at me."

     "Stubborn wench," he wasn't sure if the words had come out right, or if he had only been coughing. "Only the gods know why I could fall in love you with you-" he coughed again, "-as if this were some story."

     "Jaime, please. Jaime. _Jaime!_ "

 

 


End file.
